Thursday, October 26, 2006

im really just so happy... i dunno, since he came everything was different, i have something to look forward to everyday.. all the things i wanna hear? i hear it from him but sometimes i realize how much change i went through.. everything just seems so nice and i always feel like smiling.. kahit nakalimutan ako sidestepan.... but you know what? sometimes i realize.. before, umiikot ang mundo sa mga friends ko, and everything is so fun, i can conquer everything with my friends then he came, i realize it's not just about my friends anymore... the thing is he has the "rights" now... when im with... it's like a whole different side of me that my friends are not aware of he's the only person who can appreciate the whole me and my eccentricity of course he's not aware of the fact that sometimes i can be wild.. only my friends knew that. maybe that's why im so happy.. i'm finally complete... but my friends does'nt know im weird.. he doesn't know im wild.. uh-oh...let's hope for the best ^^ right know im having the time of my life.. good ridance...

Monday, October 16, 2006

fethe first time i saw him i knew he was different, he was not that brad pitt kind of guy whose ass i anticipate whenever i watch troy.. but he was kind of cute. i was on an errand to buy some acp thingies for my classmates when i thought of dropping by to one of my favorite cd stores in quiapo. that place is a real nice spot to hook up with cute rocker guy but beware some of them are "frustrated rockers". i was browsing for some cd when this guy came up to me.. take note na nasa quiapo ako at mukhang basura, i was wearing my fall out boy shirt, i worn out jeans and my cousin's chucks.
he stood beside me pero di ko kinikibo, sabi nya "miss ang ganda naman ng shirt mo" or something like that basta aun. sabi ko nman "uhh ok.." di ko prin xa tinitignan. tapos nun he asked, "ganyan ba ung type ny music na pinapakinggan mo?" i was like, "uu. ok lng" then he started browsing through the cd, im still not looking at him when he placed the cds infront of me and said, "ayan oh yan mga pakinggan mo" his very soft spoken, i took the cds then looked at him and then ok.. so may itsura.. so type ko. matangkad, maputi, maganda mata, matangos ilong... i smiled tapos tinignan ko ung mga cd, my chemical romance, taking back sunday chka fftl.. alam ko lahat un. he gave me a faint smile ang cute ng dimples nya.. tpos sabi ko, "ah alam ko to" pero di nako nagtataray.
tapos kinuha nya fone nya.. sensya na di ko alam unit tapos sabi nya, "pwede malaman number mo?" gusto ko tlga ibigay pramis pero pakipot ako eh bakit ba. (kanina english ito eh nadala na ako ng aking emosyon kaya ayan tagalog nlang mmya na english pag maganda na nagyayari). so i smiled nlang tpos sabi ko "di kita kilala eh", he smiled tpos binigyan nya ko ng card, ung card lang di calling card , blank card tpos may pangalan marc tpos ung number. tpos sabi ko , "kei" ung tono ng kei ni ronica ganun. tpos eh aun lng sakayan eh di sumakay nako tapos nakatayo lng xa dun tpos nagbabay ako pero andun prin xa hinintay nya munang umalis ung bus bgo xa umalis kunwari pa xang may tinitext...ewan ko lng
eh di mga ilang days... ok kinabukasan lng nagsend ako ng msg sa kanta kunwari gm sabi ko pa "ei guys mzta n kau?? paramdam nman ung mga wlang load" pero sa kanya lng un kc puro globe barkada ko sun ung sa kanya. tpos nagreply xa "bakit ngAUN k lng nagtext?" pero may smiley tpos ako nman "hayy hnihntay nya ko" tpos un na ung start... palagi ako nag GGm kunwari ung tipong "guys punta akong quiapo bibili ng headgear cnu may pasabay?" para lng malaman nya na pupunta ako dun. tapos nagmimit n kmi dun, one time mga several weeks after kasma ko c vhanie (friend ng insan ko) na goth at liberated ksma nya nf nya c rocky na may banda. nagpunta kmi sa bhay ni marc sa alabang maganda ung mgay nya sobra pero parang malungkot.. ewan prang malungkot lng ung paligid tpos pnakita nya skin ung stolen shot ko dun sa mga simbahan.. nagulat aq matagal na nga pla nya ko nakikita nakakahiya nga eh, dun kmi sa kwarto nya pang lalake tlga pero puti ung room blue ung curtains, pnakita nya skin mga artworks nya gosh ang galing nya super! nagkasundo cla ni rocky kc nasa banda rin xa tpos aun usap usap
untill finally nung nasa garden kmi cna rocky at vhanie nagdudubi ata ewan nasa loob nagguiguitar, nagpaalam na xa manligaw "ligawan kita ah?" sbi nya.. ok sbi ni cyrill di daw paalam un, pero ganun sa loob loob ko ok nicole this is it..goodbye marc.. ganun nman ung mga guys eh pagcnabi mo nang bawal ka magpaligaw they'll move on and find other girls kahit na bawal ka pero you still want them to be there iiwan ka na nila.. nung cnabi ko sa kanya na i really like him pero bawal ako he sighed and shrugged tpos napahiga sa kama.
"uyy ok k lng?" sbi ko, he stood up and smiled, "aus lng" sabi nya tpos sbi ko "labas na tau" sbi nya ok, tpos may kwarto dun na pabilog pero wlang laman as in kwarto lng pero may malaking arched na window. sabi ko ang ganda nman nung kwarto sana ganun kwarto ko sabi nya "sayo n lng gusto mo??" binelat ko, sabi nya "kaya lng kailangan nating magpaano.." sabi ko "gaga, di tau talo" tpos aun bumaba na kmi
after several days andun prin xa txt, msn, webbie tpos kinonfront ko xa sabi ko "bkit andto ka pa sa buhay kita mo nang wala nman taung future, di mo ba naiintindihan na wala tlga?" tinignan nya ko ung tipong tingin ni miggy pag nangaasar sabi nya "bakit dahil lng ba mahal kita kailangan maging tayo?"
yan si marc, di maimik, di makibo, di madaldal pero may mga simpleng hirit na di ka na lng makaksagot,ilang beses na nyang gnagwa un, currently ginagawan nya kmi ng story xa si seth ako si lina.. sa totoo lng gusto ko tlga xa ipagmalaki sa friends ko pero im scared kc iba ako pagkasama xa at pagkasama ko friends ko.. pagkasama ko friends ko.. ako si tyra banks.. like i can do anything with them kc c arlo si nigel eh tpos c darwin ms. jay pero aun like im a men girl pero pagkasma ko c marc wla lng tahimik.. like this whole toher side of me... prag pag friends ko high fashion, byotch pero pag sya na lonely emo girl.. pagkasma ko xa prang kming 2 lng ang nageexist sa buong mundo prang xa lng ang kailangan ko...
madami nang mga kilig moments after nun.. di xa romantic pero he has his ways, one time napa "fuck" xa nung nahuli ko ung hikaw nya, ok lng nman un eh.. i love him the way he is.. different. one time tinanong nya skin kung ano b kinakatakot ko at sinasara ko daw loob ko sa kanya, feeling kniwento ni vhanie ung experience ko na ayokong magmahal ng ganitong age kasi alam ko na magbrebreak lng din kmi kc hello, bata pa kmi eh... kung maghihintay xa skin magsasawa lng din xa at mawawala rin, kung magiging kmi pwede kming mahuli at pag nangyari un mawawala din xa, but he promised me.. sana magkatotoo khit anung mangyari we'll still find each other... so bakit ko sinusulat toh.. kc wala nman nagbabsa eh at kng meron man... atleast meron may nakaalam sakaling mawala man kami.. yun lng...

Sunday, October 08, 2006

im totally hungover... im sleepy my head aches like crazy.. this is what i get for hanging out with shane miggy and arlo.. im loving it... kay.. so as usual all of us were dressed to kill it's like the public afair with the four of us.. kinda like queer eye for the straight guy.. ohh grr ulala. nweize our goal was to meet someone new.... ok.. so we didnt accoplish our goal but hell we had fun lots of it.. best part?? always at jacksloft. there was this gay girl who has like "HI COUSIN HOW ARE YOU" and fuck! she sounded soo gay, that's what you call "boses puke" omg, like miggy did the best imitation of her. i'd rather be dead than be her i swear. then there was this Girlzilla, who was wearing this extremely mini skirt with her high heels, she was like a drag queen or something, there are a lot of fat girls there who was like wearing nothing.. i really feel sexy that night, i felt so hot.. kidding ^^ but really, i am already thankful for this body.. atleast i have an ass. well then arlo and i ordered something... pinagandang muffin... pucha cupcake.. the best whoo!! next time.. i'll order.. ^^ whatta night.